Thursday, 24 November 2011

A thank you and a new extract

Hi guys, thank you for the very kind positive responses...sorry I haven't posted anything in a while. Here's chapter 3 of my book The Myth Project. Hope you like it :) Please post any comments below...thanks... beasle95

Saturday approached quickly and the week flew by. School rushed past in a blur of work and homework. Thankfully nothing strange happened again and although Dad acted cool towards me, everything seemed to be getting back to normal again.
Everyone’s interest was in Blaze though. With his dark eyes and mysterious personality, he seemed to be causing quite a flurry amongst the girls as they all tried to catch his attention.
“Honestly!” Sam muttered, not very quietly as we passed a group of giggling girls in the corridor. “I mean, he’s fit, but he isn’t a Greek god!”
The girls glared at Sam and I noticed with a twinge of annoyance and worry that Marcie was among them. She strutted forward, one hand on her hip.
“Like she’d ever go for you titch,” Marcie sneered and Sam clenched her fists in anger.
Sam and I are both about 5ft 3 – quite small compared to Marcie who seemed to have legs up to her eyebrows. I don’t really mind being short but Sam hates it, which Marcie knew.
“Titch? That’s the best you can do?” Sam hissed back and Marcie raised her eyebrows, about to reply.
“Come on Sam, she’s so not worth your time.” I yanked on her arm and although she immediately tried to resist, she gave in pretty quick.
“I so wanna punch that chick,” Sam thundered. She squeezed my hand so hard that my knuckles went white.
“Ow.” I freed my hand from hers and shook it out to try and get some feeling back into my fingers,
“Maybe one day...” Sam mused and I rolled my eyes at her plotting. She grinned.
“Hey guys.” Aaron came up behind us and slung his arms over our shoulders. Sam grunted in annoyance and we dropped out shoulders in sync, causing Aaron to stumble forwards. Sam chuckled, satisfied that she had got revenge on at least one person that day.
Aaron scowled and then smiled again.
“So are you ready for tomorrow?” he asked, his grin spreading further up his face.
“Yes,” I sighed heavily. “What are we supposed to wear? Waitress outfits?” Aaron nodded enthusiastically.
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Sam threw her arms up in exasperation, nearly catching Aaron on the nose. He winced and I fought a smile.
Aaron rubbed his arm. “Yeah, sorry; Dad’s orders. He wants you to fit in with the theme – James Bond; black skirt, white blouse and high heels. ”
“And err... what exactly is this thing about?” I asked, ignoring Sam as she made her fingers into a gun shape and jumped round the corner as an impression of James Bond.
“It’s a drinks evening for Dad’s work – to promote the company and so Dad can get to know people. I knew you guys needed money, so I volunteered you to do the waitressing because dad said he’d pay you.”
“Thanks – I’m desperate for cash at the moment – even if it means tarting up for the evening. I guess it’ll be fun.” I ran my hand through my hair to pull it out of my face.
“My Dad said he’d take you home as well, so you don’t have to walk,” Aaron said.
“Cool, I’ve got science, so I’ll see you guys later.” I waved to them both and set off down the corridor.
“Hi Rachel.” I jumped, not expecting the voice to be quite so close behind me. Turning, I looked up to see Blaze, his eyes dark and looking a bit worried for making me jump. “Sorry.” His face spread into an apologetic grin and my heart stuttered. I realised just then how tall he was – almost six foot and I felt dwarfed.
“Oh, err...that’s alright...sorry.” I smiled back at him, feeling embarrassed and struggling to find something to say. “What have you got now?”
“Science. Bummer eh?” He chuckled and his hair fell over his eyes.
“Same – with Dr Moore?” Blaze nodded that small smile on his face again.
“I got moved yesterday.” Shrugging, smirked. “Apparently they decided that I needed to be in a higher set.” I nodded and smiled nervously up to him again, holding my folder close to my chest.
We walked together, going back into the main school building. Peoples shot us looks – a mixture of envy and admiration. Despite myself, I felt quite touched that he had chosen to walk with me. Stupid, but I felt it nonetheless.
“How come you moved here?” I asked as we approached the classroom. I had to crane my neck sideways to see his face properly and was surprised to see that it was torn.
“I...wasn’t happy at my last school. This one seemed like a better option.” I nodded and pondered over his hesitation. I shouldn’t expect him to be open straight away, but I was suspicious that he wasn’t telling the whole truth. Surely it was a normal question to ask why he had moved schools? We lapsed into silence and made our way into the lab. I sat down at my seat next to my friend Emily. Blaze stood awkwardly at the front when suddenly Dr Moore came in. He looked up startled, almost walking into Blaze. Mumbling an automatic apology, his gaze suddenly snapped up.
“Ah, you must be Blaze Roberts!” he announced, pushing his glasses back onto his nose. Blaze nodded. I could tell he was nervous because he ran his hand through his hair, but he showed no other outward signs of it.
“Yes-sir that’s me!” he said enthusiastically, which should have been dorky, but was actually cute. The female population of the class giggled and I smiled. Meeting my gaze and holding it for a second, he looked levelly back at our teacher. Dr Moore was looking around the room, a concentrated frown contorting his forehead. His gaze swept the room, row by row, pair by pair until it finally settled on me and Emily at the back.
“Ah yes; Blaze, please go and sit next to Miss Forester at the back.” Emily stuck up her hand, a slight pout turning down the corners of her lips.
“But sir, where shall I go?”
Dr Moore frowned over his glasses. His corkscrew hair was fluffed up and sticking out in every single direction as if he had been electrocuted or walked through a hedge backwards. Watery grey eyes behind the square frames stared intently at Emily, assessing the situation.
“Hmm, come and sit at the front please,” he said and turned his back so he faced the board.
“Sorry,” I whispered to Emily as she got up. Shooting me a half envious look, she picked up her books and slipping her bag onto her shoulder, she made her way to the front. Blaze sat down next to me, placing his books neatly in front of him. I shot a smile up to him which he returned politely and I wrote the title at the top of my page.
“You came on a good lesson Blaze!” Dr Moore announced with a flourish of his hands. “We’re doing an experiment today which is much more exciting than these boring textbooks.” Slamming his down on the desk, he turned back to the board, looking around for a pen.
“Whoop de doo,” I muttered sarcastically and I saw the corner of Blaze’s mouth lift into a smile.
Dr Moore continued. “Today we will be heating hydrated copper sulphate crystals which are pretty and blue!” His hair seemed to shiver with barely contained excitement, his eyes wild. “When we heat them they’ll turn into...what Jason?” He pointed as Jason, a handsome Asian boy in the front row.
“Er....dehydrated copper sulphate?”
“Bingo! And what will happen when it you add water once it is cool? Miss Lawson?”
Emily smiled brightly. “It will turn back to hydrated copper sulphate sir!”
“Perfect! And this is called, Miss Forester?”
“A reversible reaction,” I answered and Dr Moore clapped his hands together, looking pleased.
“Ah, what I wonderful class I have!” he grinned manically making a few at the front titter with laughter. “You will be working in pairs, with the person sitting next to you – you need Bunsen burners, goggles and boiling tubes. I will come round with a small beaker full of crystals and instructions. Remember, you need tongs to hold the boiling tubes – they will get extremely hot once you put them in the flames. Off you go!”
Blaze reached behind him and grabbed some goggles off the bench behind and handed a pair to me.
“Thanks,” I muttered. “Shall I go and get the equipment?”
“I’ll get the Bunsen burner and the tongs,” he said and followed some other guys who were collecting them. I blinked and went to fetch the rest of the equipment. Two minutes later we met back up at the desk.
“The instructions are on the sheet on your desk, now quieten down please – you need to be sensible!”I studied the instruction sheet in front of me.
“Ok, we need three scoops of copper sulphate and we need to put them in the boiling tube.” I held the tube and put three scoops in. “Now all we need to do is hold it over a blue flame until the crystals turn to a white powder.” I looked up at Blaze. “Seems simple enough.”
He smiled. “We need to have a flame first.” Turning away, he put the rubber tube onto the gas tap, and turned it on. Then, seeing that the people next to us already had a flame burning he lit a wooden splint and lit ours too. Next, he adjusted the flame until it turned blue.
“Let’s heat this baby up,” I muttered and holding the boiling tube with the tongs, I held it at the hottest, brightest point.
“Have you done this experiment before?” I asked Blaze, watching the crystals carefully.
“No – similar but not this one.”
I nodded smiling. “Dr Moore gets so excited when we do experiments – if he had it his way we’d do them every lesson. But unfortunately we have to do book work too.” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I bit my lip in embarrassment. When did I turn into such a geek?
Glancing back at the tube, I realised that something had gone horribly wrong. The blue crystals hadn’t turned into a white powder, but instead into a thick, black liquid that was bubbling angrily.
“Ah – what’s happened?” I gasped, pulling the tube out of the flame. The liquid continued to bubble, with a new energy. “Dr Moore!” I cried frantically as the liquid started spitting and drops landed around us. I held it out at arm’s length to stop any droplets from falling onto my arm. Dr Moore rushed over. When he saw the liquid, he gasped.
“Put it in the fume box! Everybody get under the desks please!” he yelled. The class except Dr Moore, Blaze and I backed away and dropped behind the other benches out of harms way. Just before I was about to drop the tube, it suddenly exploded, sending the sticky black liquid straight towards me.
In a flash, Blaze’s hand was on my arm. Just as I squeezed my eyes shut, I felt an electric shock run right up my arm and down through my body and saw a giant bubble form around us. I was pulled to the floor and shoved underneath the desk so hard I cracked my head on the floor.
Then...silence.
Slowly I opened one eye, crouching underneath the desk. Blaze was still clutching my arm and I could feel it tingling with static. Staring down at it, I realised that none of the liquid had landed on me - I hadn’t been burnt by the heat, or any liquid. But what I did see around Blaze and I was a semi-transparent bubble. One of Blaze’s hands was on my arm, his other held up in the air. Was he...creating the bubble?
But as soon as I blinked it was gone and Blaze took his hand slowly off my arm.
“Rachel, are you alright?” he asked, his eyes wide with horror.
“I’m fine...a-are you? What just happened?” I stammered and got to my feet. Blaze nodded mutely and looked around.
Dr Moore’s head stuck up from behind the desk next to us, his eyes huge and his hair more like a corkscrew than ever. Each hair seemed to be bristling and his pupils were both dilated.
“Dr Moore, what just happened? We only did what was on the instruction sheet...” I whispered with shock. My knees were shaking as I looked around. Our desk was caked in the black substance which was bubbling and starting to corrode into the desk. The liquid oozed out of the remainder of the shattered glass and spread like spilt oil.
Thankfully Blaze and I had both moved our books and belongings onto the desk behind so none of our things had been damaged. The explosion had also been pretty much contained to our desk - only a few drops and shards of glass had landed around us. Blaze reached up and brushed a shard out of my hair and when it dropped to the ground it tinkled delicately, flashing in the light.
“What the hell is that stuff?” Blaze muttered. Dr Moore peered at the gloopy mixture and his eyes widened even further. The room was completely silent – only the hiss of a flame could be heard.
“I’m not sure...but something is very, very wrong.” Dr Moore’s grey eyes met mine.
“Rachel, I want you and Blaze to go to the nurse please. Get her to check the pair of you over. The rest of you – please take your belongings and go next door to Miss Hayward’s classroom. In silence please, there are still lessons going on.”
Everybody nodded and started packing their books away, turning off the gas taps and placing their boiling tubes into racks warily to make sure none spilled. The room was very quiet – everybody strangely cooperative. Shocked into silence?
“Come on Rachel.” Blaze tugged my arm and held my bag out for me. I smiled in confused thanks and took it, silently walking out of the room, with Blaze only two steps behind.
The corridors were deserted since everybody was still in their lessons. Perfect. I turned sharply round, almost making Blaze crash into me.
“What happened in there?” I asked Blaze, staring up at him seriously.
“The experiment? I have no idea – but there was definitely something else mixed in with those crystals.” I shook my head.
“Not that...the...bubble.” I frowned, one eyebrow raised, challenging him with my eyes. “When the explosion happened, I saw a...giant bubble type thing and it protected us.” I frowned again. “It looked like you made it.”
One corner of Blaze’s mouth lifted up into a sarcastic smile, but his eyes were tight, wary. “You think that I created a shield to protect us from the explosion?” I nodded stubbornly. “You’re imagining things – have you been inhaling too many chemical fumes?”
I scowled at him and crossing my arms, not caring if I looked like a toddler who wasn’t getting its own way. “I know what I saw.” Suddenly Blaze looked angry, scared even. Something flashed in his eyes that betrayed some of the emotion that he was so carefully concealing. He looked...terrified.
“Well no one is going to believe you. No one else saw.”
I raised my eyebrow again. “I wasn’t going to tell anyone. I just want to know the truth.”
Blaze stepped past me and started walking up the corridor again. “You will soon enough,” he muttered, so quietly I wondered if I had imagined it. I stayed frozen on the spot, staring after him.
“Are you coming or are you just going to try and stare a hole in my back?” he asked sarcastically and I blushed.
“No, I’m coming,” I replied and wordlessly lead the way to the nurse.
The nurse checked us over and declared that we were both fine. However, I was still confused, and probably a bit shocked.
Someone must have rigged the experiment. There was no possible chemical way that the experiment could have gone the way it did if it only contained copper sulphate. So what had happened? Something else must have gone into the mixture.
At lunchtime Dr Moore came and found us both before registration.
“Someone tampered with the mixture, although I’m sure you figured that out for yourselves.” Dr Moore pushed his glasses further up his nose. “Needless to say, we are investigating the situation very seriously; the person who did this was a trainee and has now left –but of their own accord.” He raised his eyebrows. “We tested all the other mixtures but only yours contained anything other than the copper sulphate. So we aren’t sure if you were the ‘targets’ or if someone else was. Of course, I just handed out the chemicals at random...” he babbled and I smiled at him reassuringly.
“It’s ok Dr Moore, we know it wasn’t your fault.” Dr Moore’s shoulders sagged as he let out a deep breath.
“Thank you Rachel. Regardless, I am truly sorry and am very glad that neither of you, nor anyone else was hurt.”
Blaze and I nodded and Dr Moore waved half-heartedly and turned away. Suddenly he spun back again.
“Just out of interest...if this was a deliberate move, do either of you know any reason why it would have happened? If you or anyone else could have been...targeted for some reason?” I immediately shook my head and looked up at Blaze to see what he would say. Shaking his head, his face was set into a blank expression, but as he looked down I thought I saw something flash in his eyes. The look instantly reminded me of what he had said earlier: “You will soon enough.” What had he meant?
But apparently Dr Moore was satisfied. “Thank you. Well then, off you go.” We parted and Blaze and I didn’t speak. How could we have got off to such an awkward start?
I told Sam about the incident and she was worried, but she couldn’t help but laugh.
“Trust you to be in the middle of it,” she said with a wink and I rolled my eyes at her. Suddenly she wrapped her arms around me. “I’m glad you are ok though – I wouldn’t want anything to happen.”

Throughout the rest of the day I went over the incident.
Had anything suspicious happened beforehand? No.
Anything afterwards? Only Blaze.
He really was acting suspicious, or was that just my overactive imagination? Was he involved in some kind of organisation? A gang? Maybe he had had to change schools because he was getting away from them?
I knew that I was being ridiculous, as he was so easy going...but who was I to know?
These questions and memories of our meeting swirled around my head. It was almost impossible to think of anything else.
Except Dad.
When I got home, he was acting strangely, especially around me. He seemed lost in a deep thought.
For instance, he was sitting in the lounge staring over the top of his newspaper at a picture of the two of us when I was about eight. Sarah was trying to tell him it was nearly dinner time, but he seemed unable to hear her.
“Ed? Ed? It’s dinner time!” She shook his shoulder and he blinked a few times.
“What’s wrong?” Sarah stared at his face with concern. “Are you alright darling – you seem spaced out?”
Dad cleared his throat. “I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?” he ran his hand across his chin. “Dinner – let’s go.”
Sarah gave him a strange look. “Alright...”
Over dinner he seemed colder than normal towards me and wouldn’t meet my eye. Afterwards he went straight up to his study without a word. I followed anyway. I’d decided I was going to tell him about Mrs Richards and Marcie the other day and the incidents with the moving paper. When I came in, he was sitting at his desk with his head in his hands. I approached him cautiously and placed one hand on his shoulder.
“Is everything alright Dad?” I asked, perching on the edge of his desk. He let out a deep breath and looked up at me.
“I hoped it wasn’t true,” he murmured almost to himself and my brow furrowed with confusion.
“What?” Dad suddenly looked guilty, like he’d said something he shouldn’t have done.
“I...nothing. I meant to check - you know that Sarah and I are staying out tomorrow night and coming back Sunday morning?” I nodded.
“Sure – I’m going to Aaron’s for the evening and his Dad is dropping me off home again.”
Dad frowned. “I’m not sure that you should stay here on your own sweetheart. I mean, I know you are sensible but what if something happens? We won’t be here to help you.”
“I’ll be fine Dad. Seriously, nothing is going to happen.” Dad hesitated and thought for a few moments.
“Fine. Daniel and Lily are staying at Jane’s house for the night and we’re picking them up on our way back home.”
“I know Dad, stop worrying.” Dad smiled at me and I grinned back. He stood up and pulled me into a hug and I instantly felt safe and surrounded by his love.
He kissed the top of my head and patted my back.
“Go do your homework or something – I’ve got to finish off some reports.”
I nodded and walked into my room. Knowing that I wouldn’t want to do homework later on in the weekend, I worked hard and managed to finish it all off before I went to bed.

I walked up to the door of Aaron’s house and rang the doorbell. Aaron answered, throwing the door wide open so hard it crashed into the wall, making the windows rattle.
“Hiya – come right in.” I had my costume in a separate bag to change into because I knew I couldn’t walk to Aaron’s house in those high heels.
“The main bathroom’s upstairs, but you know that anyway.” He grinned lopsidedly and I laughed, pushing him aside.
“I know thanks.” I paused on the stairs. “Is Sam here yet?”
Aaron nodded. “Yep, go right on up.” He winked at me and then turned into the kitchen to help his parents set up for the evening.
I walked up the stairs and headed for the bathroom. The door was locked. “Hello, anyone in there?” I called and the door opened. Sam poked her head round.
“Sorry,” she grinned. “I didn’t realise it was you.”
We got changed quickly and sorted out our hair and make-up. I felt like a plastic Barbie doll, teetering in heels with my hair curled.
Sam laughed when I slipped on the stairs and landed straight on my bum. “It’s dangerous to put you in heels.” Then her face suddenly looked alarmed and she fell on top of me.
We roared with laughter again and tried to stand up again, failing miserably.
Aaron walked out of the kitchen and stared at us, one side of his mouth turning up into a grin. “Everything alright in here ladies?” he asked warily and we nodded and then laughed again. Sam winced.
“Garr, my bum is so bruised!” she whined and Aaron pulled us to our feet.
“Try not to have any more accidents girls,” he said in a patronising tone and Sam punched his arm lightly.
“You’d better hope we don’t.”

People started arriving about half and hour later. Sam and I immediately started getting people drinks and handing out food. Some people chatted to us and a few sneered and leered.
“Keep away from that man over there,” Sam whispered in my ear as we passed each other. “Bad piece of work – I’m very tempted to tip his beer over his head.”
I looked over at the man. He had jet black hair that was obviously dyed, but the hairline was receding. His suit was a charcoal grey and his tie was only a shade lighter.
He looked up as I watched him and his eyes glinted.
I shuddered and turned away.
“I will,” I muttered back to her and walked to the kitchen to collect some more drinks.
The evening dragged on and Sam became more irritable as she got more tired.
“We’d better get paid really good money for this,” she muttered.

Aaron’s dad had set up a presentation for all his colleagues, so that meant Sam and I could have a break. Aaron joined us in the kitchen and we ate some of the leftover food and drank orange juice. As Sam and I were talking, Aaron was knocking back glasses of coke or juice.
“Thirsty?” Sam asked and raised an eyebrow at him.
“A little,” Aaron said. “I just need the loo quick,” he said and got up. But as he did, he teetered sideways and fell straight onto my lap, knocking my glass out of my hand and sending juice all over the floor.
“Oops, sorry,” he giggled. Getting to his feet, he tried to walk again but he kept stumbling. Sam took his glass and sniffed it warily.
“You’ve been drinking!” she exclaimed with surprise and Aaron shrugged.
“So? You’ve been watching me do it,” he said and walked unsteadily out of the room.
Sam turned to me and rolled her eyes. “He’s going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning. Serves him right too.”
At last the meeting drew to a close and Sam and I were free to leave. Aaron’s Dad James gave us our money and said we could go.
“Err, aren’t you taking us home?” I asked warily and James laughed a little more enthusiastically than was necessary. . I could see his eyes were glazed and unfocused.
“Sorry girls, but I don’t think I’m fit to drive.” He laughed again and stumbled around the corner.
“Great,” I muttered. “What are we going to do now?”
Aaron came over to us, his face apologetic. “I’m sorry guys. I really thought he could drive you.” He ran his hand through his hair and let out a deep breath. “Could your parents drive you home?”
“Nope. Both our Dad’s are away on business –you know that!” I glared at him and he shrugged.
“Well I guess you’re going to have to walk,” he murmured and trudged upstairs to his room.
“Yeah, thanks a lot!” I called up the stairs. “It’s nice to know who our real friends are!”
“What are we going to do know?” Sam asked and yawned widely. I shrugged.
“We have to do as he says – we walk.”

2 comments:

  1. Best chapter yet. Rachel's a great character. Did you know that the main character in my upcoming ebook (self publishing) is also Rachael (with an extra'a'). Cool coincidence. But she lot her parents and becomes a werewolf extermiator so there a differences, lol. I also plan to send a different novel to an agent next year as well.

    Personally I love your novel The Myth Project. It's so engaging and I can imagine the characters in my own way. I love the beginning with the interaction between the girls. Sam establishes herself as the take no nonsense type and Rachel as the observant good girl and Sam's conscience. Aaron's just fun. I found Blaze very interesting and the scene where the experiment exploded and he protected her very 'I Am Number Four' movie - esque. James is an ass, that simple. Poor Sam and Rach, but it's better to walk than die. Can't wait for the next chapter. Going to tweet you right after my comment goes up.

    From a critic stand point I think this part of chapter 3 is the most tight and best written part of your story. This is from my perspective and what I think would be presentable to an agent or publisher. Will add first that I'm working on self publishing my first novel in a series and sending a different novel to an agent. So don't take this as perfect gospel. I'm far from such.

    One corner of Blaze’s mouth lifted up into a sarcastic smile, but his eyes were tight, wary. “You think that I created a shield to protect us from the explosion?” I nodded stubbornly. “You’re imagining things – have you been inhaling too many chemical fumes?”

    The reason why I chose this part because you made an exchange pass quickly and concisely. You didn't write out every emotion and Rachel just nods keeping her perspective to the point and Blaze's answer isn't too long or over stated. Perfect for a novel because agents and publishers are in interested in both an interesting and well written novel. I said before I think you have a future in writing and this chapter cements that even more.

    Goodnight, keep writing.

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  2. Wow, thank you so much :) I have finished the whole book and edited it all down and embellished parts that I thought weren't quite good enough. Thank you for the very positive response, and I will definitely take your advice into consideration and action.
    Wow what a coincidence on the name! ;) Have you posted any of your novel on your page? I looked the other day and couldn't see any. Thank you again
    beasle95

    ReplyDelete