Sunday, 18 May 2014

Angu rafiki...

Hi everyone,

I rarely get a chance to post anymore...sorry! I am doing a degree in Classics and English at the moment, so most of my time is spent reading lots of books and writing lots of essays...

However, I have applied to take a 'Creative Writing' module next year, which is very exciting...and I got a place! I had to write a short story that was a bit controversial/strange etc. I wanted to write something totally different from what I normally do

In terms of the process of writing, I started off writing as a girl, living somewhere in Eastern Africa about 60/70ish years ago. I wanted to write something with sensory, vivid language that the reader could just picture very clearly. As I carried on writing, I started to gather a few more ideas and characters in my head and tossed up a few options of what I could do to make it 'controversial'.

Anyway, I hope you like this :) Please let me know what you think in the comments below...any feedback is always gratefully received!

Bethan x


Angu rafiki,

The day is coming. It is almost upon us. Soon the clan will move onto the next settlement and our home making will begin anew.

I will be sad to leave this place. This place that has become my home. The rich red earth beneath my feet. The coarse grass and the butter yellow flowers and the glade with the boa boa tree, who casts her outstretched arms for protective shadows against the beating sun. The cool breeze that brings the distant smell of grass fires and a sweetness, like honey.

The beautiful open sky under which Modé and I used to lie and trace patterns in the stars. So many stars…

Father says we are moving to a place near City. I don’t know what City will be like. Father says that it is very different from our little farm, with lots more people.

I will miss the rain too, I think. There is something so magnificent about those black clouds rolling over the sky and growling with thunder. And oh…the relief when the heavens open and pour out sheets of water. Sheets upon sheets of it…cascading from the heavens. Modé and I love splashing through the puddles with the younger children. Mother always shouts at us when we first come home again – shouts that we are filthy children and too old to be playing in puddles. But then she smiles and ruffles my hair and kisses my cheek and tells us to stand outside and let the rain wash us off.

I wonder if there is rain in City? Father says that there is not much soil and no place to do farming. He told me the other night that there are buildings that stretch to the heavens…buildings that are even taller than the boa boa tree. That sounds very tall to me.

Oh, Modé had just arrived! We’ve been told to visit Imamu who will give us jobs to help.

kwa heri, Adaeze.

 

Angu rafiki,

The journey has been long and difficult. Mother was upset when we left out home. She cried and kissed the door as she pulled it closed. I hate it when Mother cries – it makes me sad too. But, angu rafiki, I heard something last night. Something that I shouldn’t have heard and I don’t know what to do. I shouldn’t have listened, but it was an accident…

Modé and I had decided that we would sneak away from the mahema and watch the stars again after everyone else had gone to sleep. We agreed, when the moon was at its highest, we would both leave the mahema and meet by the river. I kept watch out of my hema and when the moon reached its peak, I ran out of the camp and down to the river. Modé and I watched the stars and talked for a long time about them – telling each other the clan stories of the bear and the lion and the brave warrior who killed it. I love the flying horse and Modé loves the scorpion…

After a while, I started to fall asleep and Modé told me to go to bed. On my way back, I saw Father and some of the other men around the fire. Father looked angry – he was wearing that frown that makes his forehead crumple and shadows his eyes. I crept very quietly around the back of the mahema.

Then I heard it.

Father shouted about the men. The men who had come to our home with big guns and told us that we had to leave. Father shouted that we should have stayed and fought to keep our land. Imamu told him that the men would have taken mother and me and the other women and girls and done bad things to us. “Jelani,” he said, “Adaeze and Kibwe would have been broken. We did the right thing by moving on.”

Imamu’s words made me scared and I ran back to my hema and hid. I can’t sleep angu rafiki. But I must tell Modé in the morning.

Kwa heri, Adaeze.

 

Angu rafiki,

I have done a terrible thing. Baya baya kosa….

I told Modé what I heard Father say. He was hatiri sana, very angry. He said that no one should take out homes and threaten to harm us. I begged him to calm down and that Imamu knows best, but he growled and ran off to find the other young men. Now all of them are going back to fight the baya tangazo. Even Father is going.

I feel so stupid, angu rafiki, because I don’t know if Modé and the other men will come back. I saw Imamu and he looked very sad.

I don’t know what will happen now.

Adaeze.

 

 

Angu rafiki,

The men came after us. Mother calls them mzungu because of their white skin, but only when they cannot hear us. They told us…that our men were…wafu.

I felt sick when they told us, rafiki. Mother and the other women cried and wailed louder than I had ever heard. My head swam and my stomach ached and I felt like the ground was dragging me towards it.

I…I don’t know what will happen now. The mzungu say that we will be taken far away.

Angu rafiki…Modé…I will never see him again. I wish that I have never spoken a word. I made a terrible mistake. If only I hadn’t left my hema, and if only I hadn’t heard Father speaking.

But now it’s too late.

 

Tuesday, 13 November 2012

I started writing the first Seeker book in 2008 when I was 13 and I managed to get just over half-way. But when I re-read some of what I had written, I knew that it was far too cheesy (and too much like a 13 writes) to consider publishing. So recently I have started re-writing it, in the hope that more lovely people will enjoy it and feel it worthy of publication.

Thank you all for your continued support; you have no idea how encouraging it is to see the figures! I am so grateful that you have taken the time to visit my blog and read my work.

I love you all xxxx

Thursday, 4 October 2012

Here is a section of a new book I've been working on. I wrote this part on the train as I was going to London to see Keane..while listening to their new album. It is quite an emotional scene, but I hope you like it anyway.

Love, Bethan x

New Chapter: Hannah

I rolled over onto my front and rested my head on my hand. “What do we do Jamie?” I asked, staring into those fathomless eyes. “I don’t know how we can do this...”

Jamie sat up and mirrored my position, but he took my other hand in his. “Do what?” He asked, bringing my hand to his lips and kissing my fingers softly. My heart melted and sank to my feet at his touch and I smiled automatically. But then my fears collected and the smile faded all too quickly.
“This,” I whispered, indicating vaguely around with the hand he still held. A crease appeared between his eyebrows as he frowned.
“What do you mean?” Gazing at me intently, he still kissed my fingers softly and I lost my train of thought. Closing my eyes and unable to meet his gaze, I attempted to piece together a sentence.
What did I mean?
“I’m scared Jamie,” I whispered, my heart pounding. Slowly I opened my eyes and saw him staring intently back at me. His lips had paused on my hand and I could feel him breathing softly across my fingers. I took his silence for an invitation to continue, so I took a deep breath. “I’m scared of this...all of it...” Tears pooled in my eyes and for the first time in a long time, I didn’t fight them or hold them back. I let them flow freely down my face in silent rivulets. Jamie’s eyes tightened at the sight and his fingers flexed around mine, holding my hand close to his chest.
Sitting up, I crossed my legs and pulled the duvet up to my chest, with Jamie still holding my hand.
“Jamie how can we make this work?” He opened his mouth to protest, but I continued anyway. “I’m scared for you Jamie. I’m scared for us....” Drawing in a deep breath, I took strength from his hand in mine.
“My father has ruined everything in my life so far. He has taken away my freedom and jeopardised my wellbeing. I’ve always been at the bottom of his list of priorities unless he can find another way to break me and ensure my obedience. Everything has always been about him and what he wants. He degraded me and made me feel like I was worthless. When Mum died, instead of becoming closer, he pushed me away; ridiculing me and making me feel like it was my fault. Instead of providing a supportive home life, he brought in endless women, barely older than I was and mocked my weakness when I cried. When I was invited to parties, he always made sure that I couldn’t go. Not because it was best for me, but because he knew that it made me unhappy. Every time I was forced to make a different excuse and eventually I stopped being asked. I was pushed away and left alone, which was exactly what he wanted.”
The tears were flowing faster now, but I forced myself to carry on past the lump in my throat. I pulled Jamie’s hand into my lap and turned it over in my hands. “All of the best things in my life have been taken away from me Jamie. And you have been the best thing out of all of them. I haven’t felt this whole in such a long time. But how long can it really last? How long is it until he comes knocking at that door and drags me away again? How long can we really keep pretending that he can’t do anything about it?” I reached out and stroked his face softly. He tilted his head so that his cheek cupped in my palm and I ran my thumb along his cheekbone. “But I know that when that happens, it won’t just be me that gets hurt this time. He will hurt you too and that will hurt me more than anything else could. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself, knowing that it was my fault...my fault that you were hurt. I can’t do that...”
I took another deep breath and sat up straighter. “Ok, let’s say that we just make this happen. We carry on as we are, sneaking around behind his back, meeting up in secret, hoping that he will never know. We run far away and hope that he can’t find us. ”
“Yes, he won’t know – it’s do-able definitely.” Jamie nodded, putting one hand behind his head and letting a smile settle on his face.
“But then let’s say in six months we hit a wall and somehow he finds out – somehow he finds us and makes me leave. He doesn’t let me see you and it becomes more and more difficult to meet up and then we start to feel the tension and we start fighting because we don’t know what else to do and then...after a long and tearful phone call...we say goodbye. And that’ll be the end of it and we’ll never see each other again. And then what’s left? Two miserable people left and all of it being for nothing.”
I let out a long sigh and Jamie did the same, looking intently up at me. I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead, trying to ease the knot of tension behind my eyes.
“Or,” I started again, wiping a tear away. Jamie let out a huge sigh and sat up quickly.
“Thank you,” he said and planted a kiss on my lips. Drawing away, he looked deep into my eyes. I paused for a second and tried to collect my thoughts and find a solution. But I came up blank.
“Or, maybe we should realise that what we’ve had these last few weeks has been perfect.” Jamie smiled and took my hand again. “And maybe it doesn’t get any better than this. Maybe we are just trying to find a solution to a problem that is futile. Maybe we should just leave it all be before anything spoils what we have or takes it away. That Dad could come in and take me away and that he would hurt you – isn’t it better to just end this all on a positive and walk away knowing that this was the best time of our lives? It’s too much of a risk spoiling what we have now and letting it get broken...like everything else.”
I shrugged and met his eye, feeling the silence thicken.
“I don’t like either of those solutions,” Jamie frowned and I sighed, flopping back onto my pillows.
“Me neither,” I agreed. Jamie raised his hand and indicated vaguely.
“I have another scenario for you.” I breathed a sigh of relief and wiped my face free of tears, closing my eyes.
“Good,” I whispered.
“I’m in love with you,” he stated simply and my breath hitched in my throat. Slowly I opened my eyes again and saw him gazing down at me, a small smile playing on his lips. The smile faded again as I sat up a little, meeting his gaze. “I apologise for the blunt delivery, but as problematic as this situation may be....I’m in love. With you.” His eyes held me silent and unmoving, not believing what I was hearing. I didn’t know what to say. “And I can’t just throw that away or stop feeling it – even if there is a risk that it will all end soon. I can’t just...fall out of love with you.” He laughed quietly and his smile crinkled his eyes. “I can’t believe how many times I’m saying it, but I love you.”
Running his hand through his hair he struggled to find the words. “And I never thought that I would feel this way. I never knew that I could feel so right and so whole. I never knew that there was something missing from my life until you first opened your door and smiled up at me, all beautiful and shy. I didn’t know that I needed you in my life until you walked right into it and changed everything. And I know that you are scared that your father will find out and break us apart, but I finally know what I want in my life. And that’s you....I can’t let that go just because there is a risk that it will be taken away.” I swallowed.
“Hannah I need you in my life. I can’t just let you walk away. Especially not back to or because of him.” When I looked down, he put one hand gently under my chin to meet his eyes again. “I can’t throw it all away...I’m scared too, but I’m scared for you. I could never forgive myself knowing that you got hurt because of me. So stay here, with me.”
He laid back down onto the pillows and pulled me on top of him, winding his strong arms around me, holding me gently. I tucked my head under his chin, closing my eyes in the safety of his embrace. I felt him kiss the top of my head and he ran his fingers softly through my hair.
We lay like that for a while in silence, taking strength from each other’s company.
“I wasn’t expecting ‘I love you’,” I whispered, curling my hand into my chest. I could feel Jamie’s heart beating underneath me and his chest rose and fell as he breathed.
“Why not? It’s obvious isn’t it?” Jamie replied, pulling my mouth to his and kissing me deeply. His fingers ran softly through my hair and down my back, settling on my waist.
Pulling away, I smiled down at him. “I guess that I just haven’t heard it for...a very long time. I didn’t expect to ever hear it again.”
“Well you have now, and it’s true. And that’s all that matters isn’t it?” I nodded and tucked my head back under his chin.
“I’m sorry,” I laughed softly, feeling the tears trickle out of my eyes.
“What for?” I felt Jamie smile as he kissed the top of my head again.
“I don’t know...for being the most depressing girl you ever met.” Jamie chuckled and I felt the laugh resonate through his chest.
“You could never be that,” he assured me and tilted my chin up to look at him again. “I love you,” he breathed and pressed his lips to mine.
“I love you too. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“Well then, let’s hope you never have to find out,” Jamie smiled and I curled back into his arms.
Parade murder

Another Seeker extract. It's the last one for tonight I promise!

Bethan xx



“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Ben growled, moving out of the way of a huge guy dressed up in brightly coloured paper. The booming of drums crashed around us and some men were chanting along in sync. The air smelled of hot dogs and popcorn. Laughter and singing mingled in with the raucous celebration and I had to catch by breath, fighting the disorientation created by the parade. A huge dragon head suddenly filled my vision and I bit back a scream, stumbling back a step into Ben’s chest. He placed a protective hand on my shoulder and his touch helped me to relax a little.
I gulped. “What now?”

Now we need to find David Blackburn. You’ll feel him Lauren. You’ll sense his presence – he’s an old and very powerful Seeker, so whatever you do...don’t let go of my hand.

Ok.

Ben shoved into the crowds, ignoring the yells as we pushed in the opposite direction to everyone else. We skirted around some floats and a couple of cars and then plunged back into the crowds again. There were so many people here. How on earth would we be able to find one man?

Ben glanced back at me and squeezed my hand.

Crazy huh?

Too crazy.

He’s got to be here somewhere, Lauren. Just hold on...

I am, I promise.

Flexing my hand in his, I realised how safe I felt with him. Safer than I’d ever felt with...anyone, even Luke. It was nice. Very nice.

As we passed people melting under the baking sun, caked in heavy makeup and costumes, I was glad of my light shorts and t-shirt. Looking around at the sweltering crowds and dehydrated people, it didn’t seem like fun. Not that this was –

What the...?

Ben’s hand tightened again. You feel that?

Yes, I replied, turning my head this way and that, checking the crowds. What is that?

Ben drew to an abrupt halt, pulling me to a standstill. He groaned. This isn’t happening.

What? I eyed him apprehensively, before following his gaze through the parade.

There. He nodded his head and I squinted in the bright light, trying to see what had caught his attention. Focusing, I searched the energy that  had felt a few moments ago, and with my Seeker senses, I zoomed in on a young couple both wearing skin-tight, dark suits, contrasting with their brightly coloured surroundings, in a corner by an alleyway. They were both very beautiful, with clear, olive skin that glowed in the hot sun. Both had black, satin hair; the man’s cropped short, but the woman’s falling halfway down her back. There was a similarity in their features that suggested that they could be siblings, but something wasn’t quite right. There movements were too...animalistic and flowed much more smoothly than a normal human’s would.

Titans, Ben thought.

No way...

Yes way, and not just any titans. He looked down at me now, his eyes hard. Independent titans, ones that can think for themselves. They have a master, but they are used as assassins by very powerful Seekers. They are specifically hired for large, complicated missions. They’re very rare and very, very dangerous.

My stomach flipped at the thought of independent, assassin titans. I hadn’t even known that such titans existed, but they didn’t sound good, especially if they were as dangerous as Ben claimed.

How do they kill? Do they have specific powers?

Ben’s face twisted into a frown. Extremely beautiful to lure their prey, superfast and strong and they can use magic like us...

Not much then? I thought sarcastically in an attempt to quell the fear rising in my chest. Why are they here?

Not to enjoy the parade, that’s for sure. Ben’s forehead crinkled in concentration and concern. Lauren, I have to stop them. I can’t just stand by and let them murder someone here, when I know that I could have done something about it.

I know, but I’m coming with you.

No.

Yes.

Lauren, I don’t have time to argue about this.

Neither did I. Tugging out of his grip, I began pushing through the crowds towards the alleyway. Feeling the heat of Ben’s growl on my back, I looked over my shoulder defiantly. What do we do?

You do nothing. Just stay out of the way.

Not even given time to roll my eyes, I gaped as Ben shot by me in a blur, disappearing into the dark of the alley. Panic suffused me at the thought of one of the titans hurting him and I dashed into the alley after him. The smell of garbage and vomit flooded my nose and I swallowed back the bile that was rising in my throat. Stepping into the mouth of darkness, my gasping breaths sounded overly loud and I clamped my hand over my mouth, willing my eyes to adjust to the light.

A yell suddenly pierced the air and I dove forward, the sounds of glass smashing and loud rustling setting my heart to pounding.

“Jesus Christ!” a man cried out in fear, his voice reaching me only seconds before he stumbled out of the dimness, blood seeping from a fleshy wound on his lower arm. Pale and weak, completely disoriented by fear, he fell past me out into the main streets.

Stuff this!

Petrified, I strode into the alley, the shapes of overflowing bins and liners bulging with sickly rubbish spilling out onto the dirt-infested space formed before my eyes as they adjusted. Stepping tentatively over a puddle that could have been anything from water to urine, I wrinkled my nose, trying to hear past the pounding of blood in my ears. My eyes widened at the sight of a bloody hand lying limp on the ground and as soon as I saw the blood, the coppery smell overwhelmed the stench of rubbish, filling my head. I couldn’t help gagging; the damage must be extensive to produce that much blood, and I didn’t want to look to closely. Hurrying forward, I was just about to fall to my knees and inspect him when a gust of wind blew past me, carrying Ben in it. He slammed into the wall beside me, his head cracking against the bare brick, a few rubbish bags breaking his fall. I bit back another scream, but yelled out his name instead, my voice shooting up three octaves.

Making towards him, I was surprised to be stopped by a large hand wrapping round my throat. Clawing at the hand, I was lifted off the ground, my feet dangling helplessly as I struggled to draw a breath. My captor turned me around so I was facing him and my stomach flipped in horror. It was one of the titans – the male assassin – strongly built and wickedly beautiful. Despite my current predicament, I couldn’t help but admire his perfect features, even as he boldly clutched my throat. He squeezed tighter and black spots danced over my vision. Biting my nails into the titan’s hand, I raked them deep and the titan winced, just before I lost consciousness.

 

Ben pounded a fist against the invisible enchantment the titan has placed around him, while it choked the life out of Lauren. Before it’d caught Lauren, Ben had been able to think. The titan was more powerful than it should have been, almost as if it had been drawing energy from somewhere. When the barrier went up around him, his eyes had zeroed in on the trinket around its neck. A Seeker’s charm – it was drawing power from it. His only thought had been the talisman around the titan’s neck and how he had to destroy it...until he was unravelled by its attack on Lauren.

The emotions had almost consumed him as he kicked, punched and spelled the invisible wall that was keeping him from her, was nothing like they had described. There was no moment like this. There was terror and fury and panic and helplessness. It was unrelenting and agonising as it clawed and cloaked all rationality and coherent thought, reducing him to a slavering animal, desperate to obliterate the titan who dared to hurt what he was bound to protect. What was his.

When Lauren’s eyes rolled into the back of her head, Ben stilled, staring in disbelief as the titan released her; its hand unwrapping from around her throat. Lauren’s body hit the concrete with a thud as she collapsed. Sprawled out on the filthy ground, her limbs were limp and her hair spread out like a pillow around her head, her throat raw from strangulation. Ben waited in agonising stillness for the rise and fall of her chest to start again, and when it did eventually come, the tension eased, rationale seeping back into his thoughts.

The titan took a few steps towards him, a smug smile on its perfect face. Ben was filled with fury, and felt it build up, preparing to be unleashed.

“I’ll deal with the girl after I’ve gotten you for good. Intervening children. But you showed some skill. What say I release you so we can fight it out like real men?”

Ben growled deeply, the sound so animalistic, he surprised himself. Muscles coiled and ready to spring, he let the magic and adrenaline seep into his body and flood his limbs with strength. A strength Lauren so obviously lacked at the moment, he considered as he glanced at her, his stomach twisting sickeningly at the sight. Blood had started to seep from the back of her head as a patch of her hair darkened to a deep red and he felt sick. Hatred flooded his veins and fuelled his anger and strength. The titan raised a hand and suddenly Ben felt the barrier dissipate to nothing and launched himself forward without hesitation. His foot flew towards the titan’s head at blurring speed, but somehow it managed to catch his ankle and swing him off course, moving unbelievably fast.

Ben crashed into the opposite wall and spat blood from his aching mouth, scrambling back to his feet again.

“Boltflare,” he hissed, pushing the flames towards the titan. But again, it deflected his attack and the flames dispersed instantly.

This is getting old, Ben thought, hissing in frustration. He reached into his pocket and pulled out an amulet, shoving the string over his head.

“Jetwing, attack!” he yelled and felt the instant release of energy from the amulet. Jetwing appeared; talons already curled outwards and tore at the assassin’s face. The titan screeched in pain, his hand batting the air to fend off his attacker. Not wanting to lose an opportune moment, Ben yelled “Surgir”, sending the assassin tumbling in the dirt and splitting a bag of rubbish. Filth oozed from the split liner, revealing rotten food and the titan’s head emerged, a filled nappy on its head. Disgusted, the titan ripped it off and let out a growl of anger.

“Filthy Seeker child!” the titan screeched, his eyes bulging as he lunged to grab Ben’s throat.

“I’m not the one with baby poop in my hair,” Ben quipped as he dodged the attack, darting to the left. The titan snarled in anger, swiping again and his foot connected with Lauren’s still body. She let out a groan and choked, her fingers twitching. Ben’s eyes immediately flashed to her, leaving him open. The titan took advantage of his distraction and blasted Ben off his feet, sending him crashing into a wall. Ben groaned and shook his head, trying to dissipate the black spots in his eyes. Suddenly the titan’s head filled his vision; its perfect face twisted into an ugly snarl of rage. Its hand shot out, gripping Ben’s throat tightly and lifting him off his feet.

“STOP!” a voice choked and Ben shuddered in relief at Lauren, who has managed to pull herself to her feet. Her face was bruised and her neck swollen and his stomach twisted again at the blood that was trickling down her hairline. She was badly hurt, but conscious. “I command you to release him.”

Ben’s eyes flickered back to the titan, who had paused, its face torn with loyalties. Even Ben felt the power in Lauren’s words; the cool authority underlining her command as it washed over him.

“Now!” Lauren choked and coughed deeply, her face twisted in pain.

Suddenly the titan’s grip released him, letting Ben fall to the ground with a thump. He shot up quickly and pulled the titan’s hands behind its back, restraining it.

“Ropebind,” Ben muttered and instantly the magical ropes emerged from the ground, capturing the titan in an iron grip.

“Everfight,” Lauren whispered and Ben saw some of her bruises fade and she stood up straighter, strength back in her limbs. She touched her neck, wincing, before drawing those eyes of hers to meet the titan’s.

“You ok?” Ben asked quietly, wishing he could just grab her and hide her somewhere where nothing bad could ever hurt her again.

“I’m fine,” she reassured him, taking a few tentative steps towards him, her hair falling into her face. She tucked a few strands behind one ear with a trembling hand. Pressing her side up against his, it took everything within him to resist putting an arm round her. She coughed, tears of pain pricking her eyes before throwing her shoulders back determinedly and grabbing the titan’s neck.

“Why are you here? Who sent you?” she demanded, her eyes bright with anger. “Why did you attack us?”

“My...master” the titan gasped, eyes wide and staring. “We were sent to capture you.” Ben’s hand curled into a fist, his muscles tensing. Lauren’s eyes flashed to him, wide with panic, trying to cover the depth of her fear.

“Why?” Ben growled, leaning closer. “Who’s your master?”

“Zafir Cronin,” the titan hissed, its expression strained. His loyalties to his master must be strong.

“Why did he want you to capture us?” Lauren continued, her voice steely.

“I...don’t know mistress. Forgive me.” The titan whispered and Lauren swayed, her knees trembling. Ben placed a tentative hand on her shoulder to steady her and she shot him a grateful smile.

“Where’s your sibling? There were two of you here,” Ben demanded.

“She’s gone. I don’t know where.”

I don’t think we’re going to get anything else out of him Lauren’s voice whispered in Ben’s mind and he nodded.

“Go back to your master and never come near us again.” The titan blinked as the force of Lauren’s command seeped into it. It nodded once and then disappeared into nothing.

They stood in silence for a few seconds, staring at the spot where the titan had been.

That is some seriously wickedly creepy power she has going on, Ben eyed Lauren, not sure what to say. Catching his look, Lauren shrugged wearily.

“I know, it’s creepy.”

He couldn’t help but smile. “A little.”

“It worked though right?”

“It sure did.”

Frowning, Lauren whipped back around, her eyes falling on the body of the guy. “We should help-“

“He’s gone Lauren.” Not wanting her to see the mess the man was in, Ben caught her arm, pulling her back.

“But-“

“He’s dead.”

Hating the way her lip trembled with confusion and distress, Ben wished that there was something he could say or do, but there was really no way to comfort someone during their first experience with death, especially a violent one.

“We need to get out of here,” he told her quietly, trying to draw her gaze away from the young man. “We need to get out and find David. You ok to do that?”

 

 

 

 

New chapter

Accepting that there was nothing to be done for the man was harder than I could have imagined. Numbly, I followed Ben out into the crowd again, disappearing into the main street just in time. Two policemen were approaching the alley with cautious and sober expressions. Feeling sick at the thought of what they might find, I turned away, gripping tight to Ben’s hand. That garish costumes and masks – some seriously freaky – as well as the thumping music and oppressing crowds felt difficult to manage after what had just happened. I was quiet, not even speaking to Ben telepathically and he shot me a few concerned looks, which I ignored.

Impossibly, the main street seemed to be busier than before and people crushed us from all sides. I grimly held onto Ben’s hand and he gripped mine just as tightly. If we lost each other in this mass of people, then I doubt we would have found each other again for a long time.

Circling and searching the crowd again, I began to lose my patience. Where was this guy? Why did there have to be so many people in one place at the same time?! Sensing my frustration, Ben paused and looked down at me.

We will find him Lauren -

But how? This is impossible!

Just as he was about to reply, I felt a strange tugging sensation in my gut and my eyes widened in alarm. Looking up, I saw Ben’s face had twisted into a satisfied smirk.

There we go... he said, searching around. With renewed determination, we ploughed further into the crowd, until we came to a stop outside a café just off the main street. Surprisingly it was rather empty; the metal tables set out under large, brightly coloured umbrellas, plastered in advertisement logos. A few couples were seated and one family, who argued in Spanish, the children noisily slurping their drinks. But just off to the side, was an old man, with bright white hair and fierce, grey eyes which stared intently into the crowd.

Despite the colour of his hair, there seemed to be an air of youth about the man, like he was much older than he appeared. From the description Ben had given me of him, he’d seemed very old indeed, but he was by no means frail. Judging from his appearance, he seemed to be in his mid-sixties, but Ben had made him seem much older.

How old is he Ben?

I’m not sure, Ben frowned. A lot older than he looks though… He was so unhelpful sometimes.

Now what do we do? We found him; what now?

Well…we go speak to him I guess.

I pulled Ben back into the crowd so that we were hidden from the man’s view. Are you nuts? I gasped. We can’t just walk up to him and start talking?!?!

Why not? Ben countered, challenging me with his gaze. We glared at each other for a few seconds, neither of us willing to break away.

I caved in first. Fine, do it your way. But I think this is a really bad idea. Ben rolled his eyes at me and walked back into the open again. Tentatively, I followed, not sure what to expect. I mean…we were about to meet the oldest and most powerful living Seeker in the world – a living legend. This could go all of both ways…

“Mr Blackburn?” Ben asked quietly as he approached the man, his eyes wary. Very slowly, the man turned his head towards Ben, his eyes steely and focused on him. He didn’t say a word at first; he just stared. Then he took a sip of his tea.

“Who wants to know?” he muttered, placing the cup carefully back onto its saucer. His voice was smooth as silk, but his tone icy. His aura pulsed out towards me and brought goosebumps to my skin; I shivered. I could feel his power – not physical, not anymore. But his knowledge – it just seemed to ooze out of him – envelop him.

It occurred to me just then, that if I could read his power, then he could read mine. What would he think of it?

“You’ve got a lot of potential, young one,” the man spoke, addressing me. I looked up and met his gaze, awestruck and astonished.

“Y-you read my mind?” I gasped, shocked. “I thought only a few Seekers could do that, and only if they deliberately shared their thoughts.”

“For most people, yes,” Blackburn agreed softly, taking another sip of his tea and then carefully placing the cup down on the saucer once more. His smile was almost smug. “But as you have already discovered, I am very experienced in advanced magic. Someday, if you work hard - and stay alive – you too will be able to.” He held my gaze, pinning me in place so I was unable to look away. I struggled under his look, but it felt like I was being pinned up against a brick wall. I couldn’t move.

“We need to talk to you sir. Discuss an important…issue…” Ben continued warily and at last Blackburn released me. I let out a huge breath and sucked in fresh air, my heart pounding. My skin was prickling with goosebumps and I was desperate to run away. My knees wobbled and I felt weak, struggling to stay upright.

“It sounds like you had a nasty run-in,” Blackburn chuckled, raising his cup to his lips, ignoring Ben. “You were very lucky. But your power of commanding the titans – you managed to convince it to release your friend…did you not?”

“Get out of my head,” I hissed, narrowing my eyes.

“Lauren! Don’t speak to him like that!” Ben reprimanded me – the cheek – shooting daggers in my direction. I stared right back, unflinching. I didn’t trust this guy at all; there was something seriously off about him. Underlying dark intentions flickered in and out of reach as I tried to read his thoughts – I could get a grip on them. God, this man was as slippery as an eel.

“You should listen to your friend, you know,” Blackburn intervened as I continued to glower at Ben. “You don’t want to make an enemy of me.”

“Maybe not,” I murmured, breaking out of the staring contest. “But I know not always to trust the storied people tell me. Because after all…it could just be a lie. Couldn’t it Mr Blackburn?”

The man chuckled humorously, and lent back in his chair. “Ah, I see you are referring to your fateful brother, Ms Hayden. An unfortunate occurrence that was…a terrible misfortune. Such potential, lost so young…” he trailed off, staring at the crowds. My stomach twisted at his casual dismissal at my brother’s death and my blood heated up in expectant anger. I looked away, struggling to control my building temper.

As I glanced away, Blackburn tutted. “Now, now Lauren…we don’t want to lose our temper now do we?”

I glowered at him, feeling my hands curl into fists and magic dance across my fingers. Was he trying to make me hurt him? But as I spotted the spiteful glint in his eyes, I knew that he was testing me. He was testing my power, but also my control. He wanted me to lose control…

Well I wasn’t going to give him that satisfaction. Taking a deep breath, I pushed down on the angry lava of magic-induced anger that was threatening to rise up. Squashing it down, I felt it settle and cool like a hard lump of rock in my stomach.

When I met his gaze again, I saw his raised eyebrows and a glimmer of respect.

“How long have you been a Seeker young one?” he asked, his eyebrows still raised.

“About four weeks,” I muttered and he chuckled.

“I’m impressed. Even the most advanced Seekers would struggle to contain that level of power so early on. And you have an even greater challenge than most.”

“Sorry?” I frowned in confusion, and I felt Ben’s hand settle on my arm.

“We just need –“ Ben started, but Blackburn let out another low chuckle.

“You mean you haven’t told her?” His eyes were wide in mock shock and he leant back in his chair, trying to hide a smirk behind his hand.

“Told me what?” I asked, turning to Ben. He was glaring at Blackburn with intense anger and hatred. If I had been in the direct line of his glare, I would have shrivelled up with fear. But Blackburn didn’t even seem to notice. He just laughed harder.

“What is he talking about Ben?” I asked, putting myself in Ben’s gaze. As his eyes met mine, his gaze softened slightly and he looked apologetic.

“It’s not my fault, Lauren, I was told not to tell you…the board and Owen and…” I glared and him and stepped closer, so we were nose to nose.

“Just tell me,” I hissed through clenched teeth and Ben sighed.

“Your heritage.” I raised an eyebrow.

“What do you mean, my heritage?”

“Well, you’re a direct descendent from the First Seekers. You are the last true Seeker in the world.” He paused as I took this in.

“And you’re the one that has to kill Cronus.”
Seeker extract

This is something that I wrote while I was on holiday. Hope you like it :)
xx
 
 
 
“We’re almost there now, you two,” Owen said which brought me back to the present.

In front of us was a magnificent castellated mansion of golden stone. Open lawns stretched out front and up ahead I could see a brick-paved turning circle and a central fountain, built of the same stone as the house. Two staircases led up opposite each other to an enormous oak door with a golden knocker, shaped like a dragon’s head. The door looked ancient, but very strong and beautiful. A conservatory on the side of the house opened out onto more stone steps, which led down to a small stream, over which a little bridge had been constructed. The path continued on into stunning dense woodland of larch, fir and hardwood trees which was bathed invitingly in the sunshine. The fresh smell of cut grass drifted across on the breeze and I breathed in deeply. Despite the obvious grandeur of the mansion, I didn’t feel intimidated. On the contrary, the atmosphere outside was safe and homely and I felt my muscles relax. Glancing up, I saw Ben was watching me and he smiled warmly. He too looked at peace and happy, no longer tensed and on guard.

However, Owen seemed on edge as we walked up to the huge house. His hands kept clenching and unclenching and there was a light sheen of sweat on his upper lip. As I tapped into his aura, he seemed to be pulsing with excitement and nervousness and I could tell that he was restraining himself from bouncing up and down on his toes like a little kid.

“Owen, are you ok?” I asked, fighting the smile that was threatening on the edge of my lips. Owen turned to me with a jump and fought his grin too.

“Fine! Absolutely fine. Just nervous, that’s all.” He smiled again and strode ahead towards the grand sweeping staircase.

“Well something’s got his knickers in a twist,” Ben commented drily as he slipped his hand into mine. I let the grin spread freely across my face and pulled him closer to me with a chuckle.

Owen had already beaten us to the top of the steps and he was beckoning us forward enthusiastically. I laughed as he attempted to push his unruly hair off of his face, with little success. That one pesky curl kept falling back over his eyes and he hissed in frustration.

“Right, are you ready?” Owen asked, his hand twitching over the huge golden knocker.

“Ready when you are,” I replied with an encouraging smile and Owen nodded. The knocker was shaped like the head of Dracnoes, Owen’s family titan. It was enormous, about 40cm across and over half a metre long, with the ring coming in under the dragon’s nose. As Owen lifted the ring, the golden eyes glowed red and steam poured out of the dragon’s nostrils like it was alive. I jumped backwards in surprise, crashing into Ben’s chest and he held me up securely. The whole knocker had come to life under Owen’s touch and the golden scales turned red as the eyes lit up. While Owen still held onto the ring, the head swivelled until the red eyes met Owen’s, glaring threateningly.

Suddenly, the dragon’s head grinned and it let out an eager puff of smoke. The scales changed colour like a chameleon’s from red to green like some kind of traffic light.

“Mr Wilson! It has been a while since I last saw you! What a pleasant surprise!” The knocker said and my mouth dropped open. Had I imagined it?

Owen half turned and laughed as he saw my expression. Dropping the ring down carefully, he patted the dragon’s head affectionately. “It’s great to see you too, Alfy. It has been far too long, my old friend.” Extending one hand backwards, he indicated Ben and I. “These are my friends Ben Carter and Lauren Hayden. They’re my apprentices in training and great companions.” The dragon head nodded to us in greeting and I smiled warily back, still unsure.

“Ben, Lauren, this is my old friend Alfred Casterwill, faithful guardian of the Wilson household for the last hundred years.” The dragon head grinned in greeting and despite myself, I found my smile becoming more genuine.

“I can’t believe I’ve just been introduced to a door-knocker,” I smiled shyly and both Owen and Alfred laughed loudly, smoke puffing out in clouds from the dragon’s nostrils.

“Well there’s a first time for everything, my dear,” Alfred said affectionately and I nodded. “My spirit is present all around the house, as I don’t just reside in the door. If you ever need anything, all you need do is call and I can be there in an instant. Any friend of Owen’s is a friend of mine.”

“Thank you,” Ben and I said in unison and Alfred nodded.

“Now, would you like to come in?” And with a click, the door swung open.

 

Owen’s house was like nothing I had ever seen before. The scale was enormous and I felt very small and insignificant as I stepped into the grand entrance hall. It was how I imagined Mr Darcy’s house at Pemberley in ‘Pride and Prejudice’ – all polished stone, grand staircases and huge bright rooms full of paintings and furniture. The entrance hall opened out into a reception area with red sofas bordered in gold and a beautiful mahogany coffee table, on which was perched a vase of fresh flowers. The smell of freshly baked bread and some kind of casserole drifted through from the kitchen somewhere else in the house and I breathed in the scent with a smile. Even though the place was huge, it felt cosy and homely.

“I apologise for it being so ostentatious, but this is where my family has lived for the last hundred years or so. My father passed it onto myself and my sister when he died, so this is my official residence. I don’t visit here very often, being away on missions and all. But it’s always nice to come back to somewhere so safe and familiar. Make yourselves at home – what’s mine is yours, as they say!”

I looked around, open mouthed at the beauty and grandeur, afraid of making the spotless floors dirty with my muddy boots. Ben seemed equally unsure and Owen smiled reassuringly. “Come on you two, take your shoes and jackets off make yourselves at home. You can put your things in the cloakroom just there and leave your bags out here. They’ll get taken to your rooms and you can freshen yourselves up.”

Obediently, Ben and I went to the cupboard to hang up our jackets and slip into cleaner shoes. Catching each other’s eye, we mouthed ‘Wow’ and grinned.

“Was your family house like this?” I asked and Ben shook his head with a playful smile.

“I wish,” he murmured. “Only the oldest families in the Seeker world still have money on such a large scale. I did live in a large place, but nothing as grand as this.”

“I wonder what it would have been like growing up here,” I said softly. “You know, surrounded by all this. You can just feel the history and magic seeping out of the walls as if you are always living under the influence of your ancestors. It must have been very intimidating and a lot of pressure growing up.”

“I guess. I always tried to be like my father as I was growing up, but that didn’t feel like an inhibition. It was a goal that I strove to and enjoyed with his help.” He smiled sadly and I reached out to squeeze his arm in comfort. It was still hard for him to talk about his father, over a year later.

Walking back out into the hall, we saw that Owen was waiting for us and we hurried over to his side. “I thought that you’d both like something to eat and drink after our long journey, so we can head over to the kitchen now. Or you can go to your rooms and freshen up first if you’d prefer?”

Before we had a chance to answer, we heard a squeal and the pattering of little feet running across the marble floor. Startled, we looked towards a corridor at the end of the hall and saw a small figure skid around the corner and charge towards Owen. With another squeal of delight, the figure launched itself at Owen, who bent down and caught with outstretched arms.

A little girl about five years old had wrapped herself tightly around Owen’s neck and torso and was squeezing tightly. Her hair fell in beautiful golden ringlets down her back and was half-tied up with a pink ribbon. Identical, wide grins had spread across Owen’s and the girl’s faces as they laughed and hugged each other in greeting. Ben and I stood slightly bemused, unsure what to do. As I caught Ben’s eye, I asked if he knew who the little girl was, but he shrugged. He knew no more than I did.

After they had finished exchanging hugs and laughter, Owen shifted the little girl onto his hip and turned to us.

“Ben and Lauren, this is my daughter Katie.”

 

“Y-you have a daughter?” I choked. “How come you never told us?”

“Hardly anybody outside my family knows about Katie, and that is purely for her own protection. She has a great deal of power and as the only heir so far, it is safer for her to be kept in relative secrecy here.” As I met the guarded look in Owen’s eye, I knew that the conversation wasn’t finished and that he would explain later.

“Kitty, this is Ben and Lauren, who I’ve been with while I was away. They’re my friends and I’ve been teaching them about titans and magic,” Owen explained as an introduction and the little girl giggled. As she took her head out from Owen’s neck, I could see the family resemblance clearly. Katie had inherited her father’s clear blue eyes and they sparkled with life and vitality. She had a cute button nose and pretty pink lips that were stretched into a smile over her pearly white teeth.

“Pleased to meet you,” she smiled prettily and held out her hand. With a smile I reached up and shook it, feeling her fingers squeeze mine. After she had shook mine, I moved out of the way and let Ben introduce himself. Ben took her hand and shook it, then bent down and kissed it softly like a gentleman. Katie burst into giggles that tinkled like little bells and I couldn’t help but grin in response.

“Very pleased to meet you, my lady,” Ben said formally as he rose again. His smile lit up his whole face and his eyes sparkled with fun. 

“Pleased to meet you too,” Katie replied, still grinning.

“She’s gorgeous Owen,” I smiled up at the two of them as Katie wrapped her arms around her father’s neck again.

“I know,” Owen kissed her head and set her down on the ground, still gripping her hand. “Can you take us through to the kitchen, please Katie?”

Monday, 3 September 2012

For those of you who don't know, this summer I went on an expedition to Tanzania with a groups of friends and two teachers from my school. And it was, quite simply the best thing I have ever done in my life. We taught in our partner school, volunteered in a place called Neema Crafts which is a craft centre run entirely by deaf and disabled people (Google it and find out about it. Please donate some money if you can; I promise it is.going to an amazing cause). Right after I came back, I sat up late one night and I was struck by a sudden and intense fear. What if I forgot it? All of it, the sounds and smells and moments that I almost took for granted when I was there. I couldn't bear to forget a single second of what was quite simply the best time of my life. So I sat up until 3am writing it all down. I apologise in advance; I know that it isn't all grammatically accurate and it is very jumbled. But this wasn't written to satisfy any beautification requirements, but purely as an outpouring of my memories. And pretty much my soul; I've never posted anything personal before. Not like this anyway. I hope that you enjoy what you read and that you are inspired. If you ever get the opportunity to do something like this, then take it. Grab it with both hands. Don't be hindered by the cost; my friends and I managed to raise all the money ourselves whilst taking GCSE's and AS levels. Happy reading! Bethan x

“It’s been quite a while since I last wrote in here. Last time I did, I was sitting in my hotel room in Mpwapwa, curled up on one of those cushy chairs with a reading light trying not to wake Tana up…so much has changed! Well, Tanzania was amazing. So, so amazing that I didn’t want to leave and I really want to go back – but it would have to be with my best friends like before. They made it so special and I miss them all so much. Tana with her kind words and surprising assertiveness; Maisy and her craziness and singing; Sam’s banter and joking and friendly manner; Mrs Santaana’s maternal reassurance, her quiet comfort and childish side; Mr Tyson’s formal, well spoken, Old-English-Gentlemanly mannarisms; and Josh’s wacky singing, crazy jokes, steadfastness and the fact that we finally got here after all that doubt. I miss them all so much – we were all such a great family when we were out there. We were thrown in the deep end – into a place with fish heads, Swahili, crazy washing ladies, stinging insects and scorpions and all its challenges.

I miss the adventure, not knowing what would happen each day and not knowing what I would wake up to. I miss closing my eyes on the Jeep as we were thrown around, opening the window and feeling the warm, dusty African air whip though my hair and knot it up completely. I miss the red sand and the beautiful mountains. I miss our Miranda evenings, all gathered upstairs or in the boys’ room, all curled up together laughing and crying. I miss going into the guys’ room to play Trivial Pursuit and sing more Disney songs. I miss meeting so any beautiful and inspirational people, who challenged me beyond imagining. I miss the smell of sawdust, glue and elephant poo, of not knowing what people were saying and getting completely the wrong message…I miss watching Josh rap Niki Minaj in the Jeep and laughing so hard my ribs ached. I miss having to poor FREEZING cold buckets of water over my head and having freezing showers that made my skin tingle and my blood zing. I miss planning lessons in the evening, reading ‘Journey to Jo’burg’ three times in a row and not understanding physics or geography.

I miss the sound of the children’s laughter at the nursery as we blew bubbles, took pictures and threw the parachute into the air again and again. I miss walking to Monica’s and the great unveiling of what we would have for our meal that day – the excitement, the joy and the horror. I miss the laughter at the dinner table when we discussed films and TV and scary stories and trying to explain Disney films to Donald and struggling to keep a straight face as he stared at us blankly. I miss Christoph and Junior and Gloria and visiting the cathedral and watching our first African sunset. I miss running around in the BOILING HOT sun and bright red sand, twisting my ankle, getting filthy and not understanding how to play tag rugby – and then the horror of finding out I had to teach it the next day. I miss teaching those kids, who had never played sport properly before how to throw the rugby ball and the satisfaction of seeing them manage a whole game! I miss teaching music, standing up the front with Maisy and wishing that I could sing even half as well as her. I miss laughing as we sang the same line ten times in a row so the girls in form one could get the pitch right. I miss planning our music in the evenings, all sitting in a circle rapping, beat-boxing and having the hotel staff gather round to watch and the teachers laugh. I miss doing speeches and feeling my knees shake with fear – feeling like an insignificant nobody when I addressed such important people. I miss walking around Queen Esther and seeing how lucky I am – yet they have so little and are so much happier.

I miss the students that we made such strong friendships with and feeling happy that we had made a difference. I miss standing in front of the whole school – students and teachers – and thanking them for everything they did, how well they responded and worked and how much I would miss them. I miss sitting among the students and watching them learn and understand and enjoy learning and loving the smiles and laughter as I tried out my terrible Swahili. I miss being frustrated because I had used every adjective, explanation, picture, dictionary reference and sign language to get across an idea, but still no-one understands me –that I had to give up knowing that I had bigger battles. I miss Gloria addressing Mr Tyson so formally every time she spoke to him and giggling as he grimaced and tried to smile.

I miss walking in the pitch black with the weak torchlight through the sand to Monica’s and looking up to see the most beautiful sky full of stars and a moon that looked so different and just being awestruck at it’s beauty. I miss the deep red of the African sunset and how quickly the sun disappeared behind the mountains in an array of colour, shooting streaks of fire across the sky. I miss jumping when we opened our door in Mikumi to find a HUGE lizard shoot up the wall and a frog sitting in the middle of the corridor. I miss doing the excessive bug-searches before we wrapped up in our mosquito nets and sleeping bag liners. I miss getting up super early and having to shove whatever on to get ready for a new day. I miss going on Safari and seeing so many beautiful animals in such a stunning landscape. I miss the freedom of standing on my seat with the roof up, the sun on my face and breathing in the fresh, crisp air, tinged with the smell of smoke from the grass-fires. I miss being thrown around in the Jeep and being eaten alive by horseflies because apparently I was wearing the same colours as the flags they use to attract and poison them.

I miss putting on insect repellent just when I’d got clean and using hand-gel excessively before we ate. I miss opening the door to a man in full tribal gear carrying a spear and a lantern with teeth around his neck – I miss tottering around on the cobbled paths in ridiculously high heels because I wanted to look my best so that I’d feel worthy of such an amazing country and people. I miss the sheer delight of actual fruit and vegetables, juice and salad and feeling the unclean feeling just disappear as I felt the vitamins sink into my body. I miss the feeling of pure delight, happiness and excitement when we pulled up to that beautiful hotel and knowing that I would have my own double bed and shower and TV and feeling so privileged and lucky. I miss feeling so tired and desperate to sleep in the Jeep as we travelled from place to place. I miss sticking my hand out of the window and taking ‘arty photos’ that actually looked rubbish when I got home. I miss escaping all the problems I had left behind in England – all the worries and insecurities about my future and my family – of closing my eyes and enjoying right now and wanting to remember every second. I miss the feeling of giving all I could to people who desperately needed what we had and feeling that warm feeling inside because I had made a positive difference that day. I miss feeling so free…on top of the world and feeling like I could do anything I wanted because I had achieved so much. I miss the build up and the excitement.

But I don’t miss the fact that it’s all over.

I just want to do it all over again.”

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

NEW Seeker post

Here's a new Seeker extract; I hope you like it! :)
beasle95


Ben knelt on the floor in the middle of the circle. The marble floor spread out wide all around him like a stage; an endless expanse of swirling stone and engraved symbols. The elders stood in a circular formation all around him, their cloaks dark and glowing with magic, their hoods raised to cover their faces.
I stood on the sidelines, watching intently. My hands were curled into fists at my sides; I was clenching them so tightly that my nails dug crescent shaped indents into my palms. Jaw locked, I couldn’t take my eyes off Ben’s hunched figure, his hair falling over his eyes. Owen stood stoically at my side, holding himself ramrod straight and hands clenched like mine.
“Owen...?” I whispered his name hesitantly, begging him to look at me. His gaze flashed to meet mine, his blue eyes blazing with icy fire; frosted over and hard, with all his emotions locked away.
“Yes?” As he registered my presence, his eyes melted slightly.
“W-what will they do with him?” I whispered again, my voice hoarse. The first fingers of panic crept across my skin, clawing its way towards my heart and my breath hitched in my throat. Owen’s eyes softened further and he put one hand on my arm, trying to calm my frayed nerves.
“He’ll be fine Lauren, don’t worry. This sort of thing has happened before...” The icy beams flashed away again and I turned back to Ben’s hunched figure. As I watched, Ben slowly pulled himself to his feet and stood with his legs spread apart for balance as if he was expecting an attack. His eyes searched around him and he nodded at the hooded figures.
“I’m ready,” I heard him say and his gaze locked onto mine. We stood staring at each other, sustaining each other, preparing ourselves for what was about to happen.
A low chant had started among the assembled figures. The sound was haunting like the whispering of ghosts. As it started, Ben’s muscles went rigid; his jaw locked and his hands clenched at his side. But his eyes still held mine and I found myself unable to look away. A small bead of sweat pricked on his forehead and rolled down his neck. My heart tightened and I felt Owen’s fingers bite into my shoulder.
The chanting rose as more of the Elders joined in; a harrowing sound that chilled me right to the bones. Goosebumps shot across my arms in response and my hands tightened. The noise rose and rose; one or two produced a high keening sound.
Then the words – a chant in an alien tongue. But I recognised it as the old language; the language spoken by the first Seekers that was in all the old books. I felt something deep in my gut pull towards the sounds like I had a rope attached behind my belly button, tugging me forward so I fell against the railing.
“Lauren?” Owen cried his voice concerned, but I shook my head. Ben’s eyes had tightened as he saw me move and I could see him straining forwards, but he didn’t move an inch. As I had shaken my head, I saw him stop struggling again. But he didn’t relax.
I gripped the railing for support, holding myself upright as I watched Ben under the magic of the Elders.
“Phasmatic intus, exorior. Effrego vinculum. Paro puer solvo.”
“Is that Latin?” I managed to gasp out.
“Yes, it means; Spirit within, come forth. Break the bonds. Set the boy free.”
“But before...”
“They were speaking in the old language, ensnaring the spirit. That way it won’t hurt Ben –“
He was interrupted from a sharp cry and my head whipped round to face the circle. Ben’s face was contorted in pain, his eyes screwed shut and sweat standing out on his body. His hands were raking through his hair, grabbing it in fistfuls. When he yelled again, his voice cracked.
“I thought you said that it wouldn’t hurt him?”I choked in horror, my knuckles white on the railing. Owen was frozen. “Owen!” I screeched and Ben’s cry escalated. “Owen, we have to do something!”
“No Lauren, we cannot.” Owen’s eyes zeroed in on mine, pinning me in place. “I was worried that this might happen; everything’s fi-“
“Don’t you dare say everything’s fine,” I hissed in disgust, breaking eye contact. “Ben is in pain.”
As if to confirm my statement, Ben suddenly let out another hoarse yell, building into a scream and he collapsed on the marble floor. His head cracked on the hard surface and blood trickled from a wound that opened. But he wasn’t still – no, he writhed around on the ground, still screaming in agony.
Each cry pierced me like a knife, deep inside my heart – hacking away mercilessly. I couldn’t do anything – I couldn’t help him.
“Owen, please!” I begged and felt a wetness on my cheek. “Please, what can we do? Make them stop, I-“ Suddenly I was spun around to face Owen. His hands gripped the tops of my arms like iron vices, encircling and unbreakable. Icy blue eyes made me freeze in place, and my breath caught in my throat. Ben’s screams continued in the background and Owen flinched. So I wasn’t the only one being affected. My legs trembled underneath me and my hands shook.
“Owen, we have to do something...”
“No, Lauren we can’t. You need to stay here, do you understand?”
“But –“
“No buts, Lauren. Sit.” He pushed me down onto one of the benches and checked me quickly before removing his hands. Warily, he turned his back and I pulled out my notebook. I flipped through the pages as fast as I could until I came to the part about the Unbinding ceremony. Heart thudding in my chest, I scanned the page as fast as I could. Then...there!
Hope bloomed in my chest like a flower in spring and I shot to my feet. Owen twisted round, startled.
“Lauren, what are you-“
“Helping. Please don’t try to stop me.” Owen opened his mouth in a cry of surprise as I yelled, “Ropebind!”
Immediately the magic ropes shot out from under the benches and grabbed Owen, encircling him instantly. Yelling out at me, he struggled against his bonds, but it was futile. Nothing could break through, not for a long time anyway.
“I’m sorry Owen,” I murmured and turned to hurdle the barrier. Sprinting down the steps two at a time, I plunged towards the circle – and hit a barrier. It was like I had run into a glass wall, completely encircling the main pavilion. “Iter,” I hissed and suddenly the barrier disappeared. Falling forwards, I sprinted towards Ben. He was still writhing on the floor, screaming and yelling his head off. Occasionally a strange word from the Old Language would spill out too. Hands tightened into fists, he clawed at the ground and yanked at his hair, desperately trying to fight the battle inside himself.
Gently but determinedly, I put my hands either side of his head and I felt his body still instantly under my touch. The screaming ceased and Ben slowly sat up. Pulling himself onto his knees, his eyes met mine. They were bloodshot and sweat ran off his skin in rivulets, soaking his hair and my hands. I was vaguely aware of the Elders still chanting; how they had not noticed the interruption?
“Lauren, what are you…”
“Put your hands on my head. Either side, like I am to you.” Ben blinked slowly in confusion, almost like he was sleepy or drugged. “Now Ben – you must do it quickly!” He nodded and brought his hands up obediently. I felt the calloused palms on my temples and his strong fingers in my hair and my eyes closed automatically at his touch. But I forced them back open and stared straight into his eyes, locking our gazes.
“Don’t let go,” I murmured.
And then the pain hit. It was like nothing I had ever experienced. Like the worst spells hitting me over and over. Being plunged in acid or set on fire and run over by a cement truck; over and over again. Unimaginable. Intolerable…
I felt my hands gripping Ben’s head and his fingers in my hair – holding me upright. My eyes screwed shut and I clamped my lips together to prevent my screams from escaping. The tears could not be restrained though; salty and hot, they poured down my cheeks. A lump rose in my throat and I struggled to breathe against it.
I was vaguely aware of Ben trying to pull away from me, conscious now that I was taking the pain from him. The healing process was continuing uninterrupted, but it meant that he could fight harder. Fight to get that dammed titan soul out of his body. But my muscles were locked tight in agony – my hands stayed fixed in his hair. I couldn’t have pulled away even if I wanted to.
“Lauren, Lauren – stop it!” Ben called. The voice reached me from somewhere far away, burning up the acid flames inside of me. I clung on tightly, willing my way through it, clinging on to the lifebuoy that was Ben. He was keeping me strong.
I forced myself to think past the pain – firstly counting seconds, but that was pointless; it only prolonged the agony. So instead I focused on the person who knelt in front of me; the person who was holding me upright and had sacrificed so much for me. The boy who’s life I would fight for every day and I loved with all my heart. Totally and absolutely. Everything I had, I would sacrifice for him. Memories of our times together flashed before my eyes…I focused and clung onto them with desperation.
His beautiful face, laughing at a joke. The strong muscles, rippling under his tight gear as he fought the Organisation agents. Holding me carefully in the dark by a small campfire in Prague, while the rain poured down in sheets. Every touch, every kiss. When he had pulled me in and held me tight against him, his gentle fingers stroking my hair…
I clung on, holding myself to my lifebuoy willingly; keeping myself in the fire. I no longer drowned in the flames, I rode on them like waves. He was keeping me strong. Keeping me alive…
I don’t know how long it went on for; how long I sat, curled in on myself, clinging onto Ben. But through that, I endured the pain.
I did notice the subtle changes in Ben’s aura during the time. Before, even though he had been Ben, my Ben, there had been something off about it. Like how you can tell when a piece of fruit has gone off – the sourness to the smell – almost acidic and stale. That’s what it was like with Ben; I could sense a shadow – an underlying darkness that was not quite a part of him.
But as time passed, I felt him go hot under my hands, like a fever had broken out across his skin. But then slowly the heat began to fade and the shadow disappeared. The pain gradually eased like receding waves and I found that the air became free in my lungs. I felt my muscles go weak like jelly and I leant into Ben for support. Warm, strong arms wound around me and held me close and I breathed in his familiar scent deeply. Sweat covered our skin from the exertion of the ordeal like we had run a marathon and my hands slipped off his face, falling into my lap.
The sound of our breathing echoed in the cavernous space around us and as I gathered myself, I realised that I could hear nothing else. No chanting, no talking – not anything. The ceremony was complete. The spirit was gone. Very slowly, Ben lifted my head so our eyes met.
“H-how did you do that? Why? I-“ his voice cracked and I could see the intense emotion burning in his eyes. “Lauren, you shouldn’t have taken the pain away from me. You’re much more impor-“
“Ssh,” I whispered and put one finger on his lips. He stopped speaking out loud, but I could see that he was bursting to interrupt. “I couldn’t stand there and watch you in so much pain. I had to do something...I’m sorry...” I ran my hand down his cheek and he tilted his face so it settled into my palm. We sat for a few minutes in silence as our breathing steadied.
“It’s gone though hasn’t it?” I whispered fearfully and I felt my eyes well up again.
“Yes. Yes, it has finally gone.” Ben’s face broke into a wide grin and he laughed shakily in relief. The tears spilt over my eyes and rolled down my cheeks, but Ben wiped them away. “Thank you,” he breathed and kissed me softly on the lips. I felt strength and love surge though my veins and I clung to him, crushing his lips against mine. My skin rippled with goosebumps and I felt a warmth bloom in my chest. Smiling, he pulled away far too soon and my muscles felt shaky again. As he broke away, I looked around us and gasped.
The Elders were standing very close having encircled us in our distraction, their shadowy cloaks whispering with the slightest movement. As always, their faces were shadowed so we couldn’t read their expressions, but I could sense mixed feelings in their auras. There was annoyance – of course – I had intervened with their important ceremony after all. But there was also admiration for both of us. What we had achieved was remarkable. It was amazing that we had both survived, let alone come out unscathed. Warily I glanced between them and then suddenly remembered Owen. I shot to my feet and ran two steps before my knees collapsed and I crashed back onto the floor.
“Lauren?” Ben cried, sounding worried.
“I’m fine, just got up too quickly, that’s all.” Carefully and more slowly now, I warily tested my legs and walked across the floor until I reached the steps. There I clung onto the banister and made my way up slowly until I reached Owen. I didn’t meet his eyes straight away, but I could feel them burning into me.
“I’m really sorry Owen...I’m sorry I tied you up and disobeyed orders. But I couldn’t leave Ben like that...I couldn’t. I couldn’t stand it. I’m sorry.” There was a short silence as I stared at my shoes and at last Owen spoke.
“Lauren.” His voice commanded that I looked up, so I did. Our gazes met and what I saw in his eyes made me start. I’d expected him to be angry, fuming even. But he wasn’t; his gaze was soft and kind. “Look, I know that you hate it when Ben is in pain, so do I. But I also know that you guys are connected in a way that I can’t understand properly too. Not just because you love each other, but because of the magic. I know it was unbearable. But seriously Lauren, you got lucky. You have no idea how much damage you could have caused everyone if that had gone wrong. And frankly, I’m surprised that it didn’t.” I nodded seriously, feeling disappointment bloom in my chest. He was right, I’d been stupid. “You could have ended up hurting Ben even more, maybe even killing him. So, next time, when I say don’t do anything...please, don’t. Ok?” I nodded slowly, absorbing his words and meeting his intense gaze. Then a slow smile slid across his face and he glanced down.
“Now, can you please get me out of these ropes?”